if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
Randomize
