Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
Randomize
