i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
Delivery driver perk #327: I just paid for part of the security deposit on my new place in pizza. This oughta be a fun renting experience.
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
Randomize
