I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Randomize
