i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
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