I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
i don't like sucking hair
Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
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