fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
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