we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
Randomize
