Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
Randomize
