my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
No one should have to go to work between Christmas and New Years, but here I am twirling in my office chair and putting Jack in my coffee like I’m back in college studying for finals.
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
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