Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
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