Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
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