I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
this morning i woke up under the kitchen table. i went to my room and there was an inflatable whale in my bed with a banana duct taped to where its penis should be. there were trails of cheez-its around my apartment and i found $67 in the crotch of my underwear. im guessing i had a very happy birthday.
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
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He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
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His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
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