You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
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