i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
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