I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
It's official drugs can't kill me
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
Randomize
