Did you know that cab drivers don't take quarters for payment? They don't even like it when you ask.
I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
My birth control alarm just woke me up from my dream where I was pregnant. Thank god.
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
You were trust falling into bushes
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
Randomize
