My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
Randomize
