it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
my house keeper must think I'm a prostitute.
they need to just BURY HIM!
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
Randomize
