so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
Randomize
