so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
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