White coat. Heels.
Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
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