let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
she pinky promised me she was 18
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
When my parents ask, do you think "he was the cop I gave head to in order to get out of a speeding ticket" will suffice as to how we met?
Randomize
