I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
My dream in life is to scissor with Ellen. I don't care if I've got a dick. I'll make it work.
Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
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