that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
Randomize
