I wish my penis had an off switch
I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
Randomize