when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
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