how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
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