note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex...
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
You called yourself Captain Aspirin and then tried to cure my headache by shoving pills up my nose. Fuck you becoming a nurse, you can't take care of me while you're drunk ever again. Ever.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
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