took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
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