im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
Dude, I just cut my asshole on the new toilet paper. If you rationed the grocery money to buy drugs, I better be getting some.
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
Randomize