He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
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