I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
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He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
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You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
try to milk me bitch
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
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