Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
Btw I puked in your glovebox
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