She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
Last night: Repeatedly yelled about how the fishbowl tasted like blue, stole a stranger's hat, hugged the DJ for playing my request, made out with my roommate, and abandoned the guy I dragged to the club in the first place
This morning: Hat doesn't fit, hangover headache is blue, and I can't move without getting lightheaded
Listen when they tell you not to drink after giving blood
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
Randomize