just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sorry I didn't get you anything for your birthday
It's just you didn't get me the fucking bear suit last year
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
Randomize