Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
Randomize
