I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
The verizon commercial has a magical pinata. Candy just keeps coming out. It must be a portal to a candy universe.
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
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