He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
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