How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
Randomize
