I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
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