You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
i just renamed my vag "the sorting hat"
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
All of my Tinder matches have neck tattoos. It's like God wants me to go to jail again.
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
My brother is coming home and he is bringing a whole bunch of friends with him. I am making him a cake. What should i put on it?
"Open for business" or "I have condoms" would probably work
Randomize
