I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
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