it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
I'm currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
just to let you know, that was probably the funniest text i've ever received.
I suppose that kind of helps fill the void where my self respect used to be.
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