The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
Randomize
