Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
Randomize
