Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
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