I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
Drunk tip #47: Its better to overestimate how many plastic bottles itll take to urinate in, rather then underestimate.
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
Randomize
