these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
Ran into my prostitute at Costco yesterday. She was with her boyfriend, I was with my kids. Awwwwkward.
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
Randomize
