i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
it's like heaven, but drunker
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
Randomize
