Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
Randomize
