Midget sex pt 2 tonight
think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
Randomize
