I'm taking a dump and eating a fortune cookie and it said "Force it to be successful"
that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
Randomize
