All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
do nipples grow back?
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
Randomize
