I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
i am craving dick and cupcakes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
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