That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
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